Do What Brings You Joy!

So, one of last year’s viral mantras was, “get rid of everything that doesn’t spark joy.” I can certainly get on board with that! I see how that philosophy could be healthy if implemented properly. I’ve spent so much time doing just that…walking away from anything that made me feel weighted down. Eventually, it just felt like I walked away from almost everything, and yet, I still felt this void. Now, I’m realizing the real key; do plenty of things that bring you joy! Seems obvious, right? But maybe not to some! For years, I failed to make the conscious decision to do the things that I’ve always enjoyed. I’m not even sure how, but I completely lost sight of what those things were.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

If I had to guess, I’d say it all stemmed from comparison. I’m from the country, so in high school, I wore jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes everyday, and I was still considered one of the cute girls. Well, I got to college and quickly realized I needed to step my game up, chile! Some people came to class runway-ready everyday, and I had on all Nike gear like I was literally ready to go for a run! So, I adapted to my environment…I had to learn how to dress! I can admit that this is one area in which I’m grateful that I was able to assimilate, but in hindsight, I realize that I allowed things like this to become too much of a focal point. My friends told me I should get out more, so I became a social butterfly…and again, I don’t regret that either, I just wish the motive behind it wasn’t subconsciously due to comparison. I wanted to keep up with those around me and be viewed a certain way. I never intended to water my own interests down, but it was inevitable because I wasn’t engaging in my original interests, I was forming new ones. What’s wrong with finding new interests? Absolutely nothing! My problem was that my new focuses were all surface-level. I lost sight of the things that gave me depth and set me apart from the prettiest of Insta-models. Theodore Roosevelt penned one of my favorite quotes, saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” That resonates with my story so much! When I compared myself to the young women on my campus in terms of style, I forgot about things I naturally enjoyed.

I began to wonder what else I had to offer...

A year ago, if you asked me, “Raven, what do you like to do? What are you into?” I was stumped. I literally could not answer. I’d become so accustomed to all things superficial that I began to wonder what else I had to offer, besides being cute. Of course, today’s normal conversation between millennials, consists of discussion about social media, clothes, brands, beauty tips or pop culture…eventually, I started to question whether there was anything interesting about me because it seemed that I had nothing else to talk about.

So, I was intentional…I wanted to rediscover the root of me. Who I am? What do I like? What am I good at? I had to do some deep digging and think through my life’s patterns. Let’s see: “I watch a lot of documentaries on Netflix.” Me to me: “OH YEAH! BECAUSE YOU LIKE HISTORY, REMEMBER?” And it all hit me like a flood. I’m a bit of a nerd! I needed to make time to READ MORE! Finishing a book makes me feel so good about myself. (Small joys.) I love reading, hearing, and talking about history. I enjoy museums and archaeological dig sites, but I’m also an empathetic person, so I like meaningful human interaction. I find my purpose in contributing to intimate, thoughtful conversations with people. I feel most accomplished knowing that I've encouraged someone or even simply helped to reinforce their positive thoughts and ideas. I can even be a bit “philosophical” in trying to think about why people are the way they are…but then I just confuse myself! On this same train of thought, I made a note that I am more comfortable in smaller, friendly settings, rather than large crowd settings. So, instead of going out all the time, I’m more likely to host (or attend) a gathering. Which is how I discovered my talent…took me 25 years to find it! But I’m good at events! Now, I’ve moved to a new state and I have a career in event planning! Who woulda thought? God made me realize I was a homebody so that I’d realize that I would rather host my own small-scale gatherings, then put me in a place where I coordinate large-scale events for one of the nation’s largest non-profits! Ummm…sounds like a MIRACLE to me! #blessed!

So in conclusion, to anyone who isn’t sure of your talent, it’s there! Maybe you don’t define it as such, but others LOVE your gift! Maybe God hasn’t revealed it to you or given you the opportunity that would develop the skills, but it’s on the way! Never detest the status of “Late Bloomer” because that just means that when everyone else is winding down, you’ll just be getting fired up! Just remember not to lose yourself. When you feel the real you slipping away, get back to the things that bring you joy. Dig deep to reflect on who the best you is at the core! Resist the temptation to fit in and compare. Tend to your genuine interests so that you don’t lose them. You never know the ways they can develop you for your next blessing!